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About ChoKonnit

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    Lose the Muse
  1. Dare I ask how they were storing them? Cut out and dropped on the ground then kept in the fridge, wrapped in brown paper? That game of ours with the scrolls ultimately went nowhere; we cancelled it since it got postponed over christmas and much of winter, so 3 months later we couldn't remember much of what we were actually doing and lost a player into the bargain. I didn't have much hope for that particular player anyhow - he was brought in by the guy who laughed so much at the word "hymen". I'll refer to the easily-amused player henceforth as "Pistol Prick" or "PP" since that's how I've presented him on this topic, before. - He was the guy who played in my IKRPG game as the worst priest of Morrow who ever lived. (Kept remorselessly murdering people; sociopaths seem to be a staple of his). Everyone Pistol Prick has invited to the game has been a disaster. They either turn out to be weirdos, he falls out with them, or they just keep making excuses on the night and never turn up again. I got the feeling that the last guy was invited because he mistakenly showed a tiny bit of curiosity when PP was talking about our game, got invited, and just turned up to be polite and couldn't bring himself to admit it wasn't for him. PP is the current GM for our present game - Unhallowed Metropolis (it was in production for like... a month). The game is set in a dystopian future resulting from a zombie pandemic which started in the Victorian era (possibly the worst time such a thing could happen, due to the poor living conditions) and fucked the world up so bad that there has been little change over the centuries. The system is a bit frustrating at times but the setting is great. A decent GM can really make it immersive and atmospheric. Our problem is we don't have a decent GM - PP has ran games for us before and they are consistent in how much they suck. The only reason he got the GM chair this time is 'cause no-one else wanted to. Anyways, despite PP's constant jokes about sex and attempts to make everything into either a sexual or scatalogical reference (I actually can't use certain tracks for my atmospheric music any more, since the sound of dripping water makes PP think of people shitting), it turns out he's actually quite prudish. In Unhallowed Metropolis every character has to start with a Corruption of some sort to represent the dark side of their personality - I quite like this rule as it helps convey how neo-Victorian society affects people, psychologically. My character for example, a Doctor named Dr. Omedary (or Dr. Camel to his friends), has the "Addict" corruption, so he takes a few swigs from a bottle of Laudanum every now and then to help him through the day. I have recently introduced one of my friends to the game (I have played alongside him before, so I know he's up to the task), and he's playing a Dhampyr (half-vampire) Casanova of sorts. He has played a socialite before and was looking forward to the chance to play another, so he took all the relevant social skills for charm, seduction and the likes. As a Dhampyr he was also able to take the "Unnatural Beauty" quality, granting him a more exotic allure. For his corruption he chose "Hedonist" - always looking for the next thrill and unable to concentrate on tasks for long before they become too boring for him to care about. When I was helping him make his character, the image of Kenny Everett's Marcel Wave sprung to mind - always wearing a dressing gown, with a bottle of wine in one hand which he pours, from a great height, into a glass in the other, with a charm technique little unlike Pepe LePew; "Ah, my dahleeng! Ah may be half-vampire, but you are geeving me definite signs of laif een my trouseurghs!" So, when my guy was explaining his character and what he does, he mentioned that his main objective is to have as much sex as possible and never pay for it - even with prostitutes. He is also bisexual, further expanding his romantic potential. PP loudly announced that he was not going to roleplay any of that! He then laughed, a lot. Thing is, it is possible if you just know where to stop - play it out right up until the action starts then cut to the rest of the group while that's taking place. So yeah, maybe most GMs would be uncomfortable with that, but it was later on, once all the XP was being dealt, that PP said something that I thought was a bit odd. During that session the Dhampyr tried to charm his way around a small party hosted at an Inn. PP fucked up all the rules for charm and seduction, so thanks to some average dice rolls the Dhampyr got no action. After that he gave up and sought a prostitute, who he succeeded in charming and gave her such a thoroughly good time that he didn't have to pay. Because of this, PP decided to increase his corruption rating. Now, corruption can increase if a character indulges too much. Dr. Omedary, for example, would increase in his Addict corruption if he started putting Laudanum on his cornflakes to help him get out the door in the morning, or taking cocaine instead of sugar in his tea. Dhampyr failed to charm a few drunken fops, and ended up bedding a prostitute. Once. This warranted a torrent of laughter from PP about increasing the corruption for how (apparently) hedonistic Dhampyr was being, for indulging in what wouldn't even amount to an average Friday night in Glasgow. Murder, torture, random killings, mutilation - PP tries to brush all this off with "I don't care about them" when witnessing horrific acts, in game. But adding a sexual element to the RP is like lumps of Lithium in his emotional waters. We have another session of this game, tonight. Perhaps we'll see just how explosive this particular situation can become...
  2. Got an RPG session coming up tomorrow night. Despite my playing with them for years, now I still get surprised at how they sometimes really don't get my style of humour. What's really WtF-y is when they laugh at something I've said, but it transpires they really don't understand why it was funny. For example, during our last Shadowrun story I was playing as an Elf hacker named Vappo. He wasn't really Face material, but he had some of the higher social skills so I decided to make him quite sharp and witty. The group had to travel to south america to investigate a dig site where it looked like some folks were searching for these magic scrolls which could act as a gateway through time. Of course, we had to come up with false names for the cover identities, so Vappo stepped in with a few suggestions. Some of the more prominent suggestions included "Dr. Dreyfuss" and "Icicle Cubington". Perhaps the references were a bit too sublte for the others; they laughed but it turned out they just thought the names sounded funny. When I suggested the 7ft-tall, heavily tattooed, barely literate Troll biker be a lawyer named Hershel Hymenburger, one of the players thought it was hilarious, specifically because I said "hymen". At times like that I think, "Jaysus... Why do I bother? :/" Mind you, a majority of that guy's style of humour always seems to revolve around things going into, or coming out of, someone's arse. I have a few more tales of weird, gaming fuck-ups with this guy but it's 1:28am so I might tell some tomorrow. Or today if you want to get technical.
  3. Saw one today while driving back from the shops: A school kid at a bus stop is clearly frustrated for some reason, and so makes to bash his head against something in that classic display of annoyance. Rather than the perspex window of the bus stop, he chose a nearby railing. By the looks of his reaction, it was a lot more painful than he expected.
  4. I know of someone who describes themselves as "pansexual" because they "are attracted to the person's personality". And here I always thought that was just the ideal basis for a relationship :/ I can see it leading to some trouble, though, when you describe folks as having "lovely personalities". "Beaten senseless with the Lovely Personality stick" etc...
  5. Ach, let's do it - it'll please those folks in line for a Sin Eater, that's for sure! Alright, then. Just need to get some more Marauders but they should appear this week.
  6. On that I'm not entirely sure - I would like to sell some more of those Bakujin currently on the list before splitting another.
  7. Boy, that's for sure... Last year I caught some flak for a joke I made about Talk Like a Pirate Day over on Facespace. I never do the pirate thing, because I think it's dumb, but a running theme for any jokes I tell is that I get something wrong or completely misunderstand a situation. In the case of Pirate Day, I chose to interperate it as talking like a Somali pirate, so I posted that I didn't really see the funny side of saying stuff like, "You do as ah say, o I rape an keel you family!". In the previous year I said I didn't get the appeal of walking round with a bunch of DVDs under my jacket saying, "Honest, mate - quality stuff! Won't be in the shops for months, yet!" When I pulled the Somali gag I had someone think I was being serious, and deliberately trying to ruin the fun of the day by bringing the horror of real piracy into it, and that I should go and tell kids to get off my lawn or something. As anyone who regularly reads my Facespace page would notice, I am rarely serious about anything at all. This time, apparently, I must have been a bit too convincing :/
  8. I dunno if I could provide that many Grunts, sorry. The resultant Grunts with rifle and light grenade launcher have too much of a drag factor - I still got 2 of her hanging around and showing no signs of moving :/ Maybe if I reduce her price? I could add 50p to sniper and HMG to further reduce her down to £2.50
  9. Not quite. Actual rule is: " And I don't mean just weird pictures on the internet *intended* to illicit such a response, I mean stuff that happens in the real world or things that people have said/done with a straight face and were utterly serious. " By this I mean deliberate attempts at surrealism, obvious setups or, like a guy used to do on Facespace, share pictures of wannabe Giger artists from DeviantArt with the comment "WTF IS THIS?!?11?" etc. This video here depicts people who are, unfortunately, very serious indeed.
  10. Alright, these can be done! I've added more items to the list, too. Including some of the new Moderators! I also need to organize the pre-order requests on splitting the TechBee from her Crabbot.
  11. List needs a bit of an update and I am falling behind slightly, today - other real-life business meant I had to leave a bit earlier than usual this past couple of days :/ I'll get on it asap!
  12. Pre-orders up, now!
  13. It's not an exclusive pre-order bonus or anything, I suppose it could be possible...