notmuch_23

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You're Entitled to MY Opinion with Sophia Duramos

25 posts in this topic

"Seems any *bleep* can get a show on Mayanet these days and hack it onto Arachne. Case in point, me. I'm an ALEPH *bleep*-up, and I'ma sit here and tell you exactly what I think about La Forja's destruction, the Nomad repurposed freighter Don Peyote, the current situation with Indra-3's Echo Commodule, and I'll argue loudly with anybody who can contact me, and today's guests will be whomever happens to wander onto this set. For maximum enjoyment, turn off your Mayanet and/or Arachne obscenity filter, and remove any spillable items from your lap and/or hands. That includes Lo Pan noodles, ya fat *bleep* Yuan Yuans. I'm Sophia Duramos, and You're Entitled to MY Opinion," a blonde lady that suspiciously looks like a Chandra Special Operative, with a four-strand braid and  purple gradient fatigues turning to blue on her boob and shoulder armor and to red everywhere else, says before the title animation starts. 

You're Entitled To MY Opinion  with Sophia Duramos

in 3d-modeled black text with red outlines swooshes in from the right and fades away as the camera drone drops altitude and zooms in on Sophia sitting at a desk.

"La Forja snapped in half, killing a *bleep*load of people. More specifically, not enough of those *bleep* furry bondage nuns who 'fight the Patriarchy' by, get this, attacking *bleeep* ALEPH, a female-identity artificial-intelligence, and her aspects. Many of 'em, like me, are FEMALE-PATTERN! Really fightin' the patriarchy there, ain'chya? *Bleep* morons. Good *bleeeeep* riddance! I hope O-12 finds out how exactly that *bleep* happened so I can repeat the feat on Bakunin. I've been on La Forja, and I can tell ya, it's a real *bleep* *bleep*hole. I bet even some of the Nomads wanted to scuttle the *bleeep*! Cue live voice messages from pissed-off furry bondage riot nuns in three, two, one..."

((OOC: In case you haven't figured it out yet, You're Entitled To MY Opinion is supposed to be an inflamatory opinion show like one would see on Fox News or CNN. Anybody can leave a "voice message" or be a guest by just "wandering in". Also, I've tried finding rules about it, but I don't know if curse words are allowed, hence Mayanet's "obscenity filter".}}

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"... you sure our comms are set up Jeydin?"

"As far as I know," Jeydin replies offscreen.

"Whelp, I'm *bleep* ecstatic La Forja *bleep* the bed! In response, the Nomad Nation brought in the Dong Penotie-I mean the Don Peyote, which looks like a huge *bleep* dick! So La Forja breaks, and the first thing the Nomads wanna do is *bleep* everybody with it's totally huge Johnson, I mean just look at it. They'er sooo huge; totally hung like native Africans, can'tchya see it? Nobody can miss that massive sausage, just don't look in thier pants, okay? Yeah, prob'ly nuthin down there. But their intention is to *bleep* everybody up the *bleeeep* with the Dong Penotie, especially ALEPH and Ariadna forces. Why are the *bleeeep* fighting so *bleep* hard anyways? If I had control of Sygtir One and/or Two, I'd blast that Nomad *bleep* into glitter along with the rest of La Forja! *Bleeeeeep* those *bleep* right back with PanO's giant *bleep*! Only be a truer space *bleep*fight if ever there were giand metal spacefaring chickens. So what are the forces doing on there? Just shooting the *bleep* outta each other, and soon, we'll join 'em! Bite the pillow Bakunin *bleeeep* freaks, our *bleep*'s comin' in dry!"

"Uh, with our track record, we'll just show up, confuse everybody, and leave a huge mess with our lhost's corpses," Jeydin replies.

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Incoming call from [ENCRYPTED] 

"Hi, I'm a Nomad." says anonimous caller with the voice pattern of Alguacil Ashely, Second Officer of the Desert Duchess Assault Carrier.  "And I'd like to say *bleep* you, you entitled piece of circuitry and fake personality!  What happened at La Forja was unfortunate, and the brave lives lost are not for you to *bleeeeep*ing disrespect!

If I had my way, I'd ram Don Peyote so far up your entitle-"

sounds of a scruffle and muffled unintelligible insults, then the connection is severed.

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"Looks like we've got our first message," Jeydin says offscreen.

"Hey, you're entitled to my opinion Whatchya got?" Sophia asks

1 hour ago, Danger Rose said:

"Hi, I'm a Nomad, and I'd like to say: *bleep* you, you entitled piece of circuitry and fake personality!  What happened at La Forja was unfortunate, and the brave lives lost are not for you to *bleeeeep*ing disrespect!"

"YES! I did get us on Arachne!" Jeydin says.

"First, you *bleep*, I doubt therefore I am, and do I look like a boring *bleep* Asura? This lhost is mostly flesh. What ain't is a cube! Second, I do agree that what happened on La Forja was unfortunate for two reasons: the damage wasn't more extensive, and it didn't take more of you *bleeeep* out with it!" Sophia says, "and no, those dead *bleeeeep* ain't for me to *bleeeep* disrespect, that's just a happy by-product. They're for the Bakunin freaks to *bleeeeep* the *bleeeep* outta and post the footage to deviant smut boards!"

1 hour ago, Danger Rose said:

"If I had my way, I'd ram Don Peyote so far up your entitle-"

If I had my way, I'd have a *bleep*-on so far up your *bleeeeep* I'd tickle your tonsils! Before anybody else calls us entitled, I'm part of ALEPH's worst squad. We don't get very much *bleep* from ALEPH but insults and reprimands. The fact that we can operate in any *bleep* capacity is a *bleeeep* miracle!" Sophia then turns to Jeydin. :Oh, I looooove this *bleep*! Who's next?"

((OOC: Thank you for responding in character, that was great, and exactly what I was expecting!))

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Incoming call from Baijing Consulate

"Hi there. My name's Flatline, I break codes for Haqqislam and I wanted to say that I almost totally agree with you regarding the Bakunin guys. I've seen to many comrades lost to those *bleep*-ing furries and goat men. I remember one mission we were clearing a place that got overrun by them and you would not believe the mess they left behind. And I mean organic mess.

Uhh, anyway the reason I almost agree is that this one time I ran into Cassandra Kusanagi and man ..... if love at first sight exists, then I just felt it then. I mean she beat my comrades and was pretty cold but she agreed to a cease fire once she got what she wanted and let us retrieve our wounded. That was nice. I sent her a ... few .... messages since then but with La Forja blown up I'm worried. So uh, Cass, if you're listening to this ... I LOVE YOU!"

"Gabriel what is this?" female voice in the background

"Nothing, Lt.! I was just ..."

"Making the general spit his noodles all over a console."

"Ah bugger." Silence. "Wait, he's listening to this?"

Call ends.

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The webcast cuts as the window is closed.

On the darkened command deck of the Fanterrr, the Commander known as Nathan Reynolds takes out a holo from his jacket pocket. It is old, and discoloured from almost being burnt in a fire. It is a picture of him as a boy, dirty and ragged, sitting on a crate with a girl of the same age. She has blue-green hair, wearing a torn skirt and clutching the inverted cross of the Sisterhood. The record of the war around them is written into their empty stares.

He looks at it briefly, then puts it away.

 

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"This one from the Baijing Consulate," Jeydin replies.

"Hey, you're entitled to my opinion, whatchya got?"

12 hours ago, Garak said:

"Hi there. My name's Flatline, I break codes for Haqqislam and I wanted to say that I almost totally agree with you regarding the Bakunin guys. I've seen to many comrades lost to those *bleep*-ing furries and goat men. I remember one mission we were clearing a place that got overrun by them and you would not believe the mess they left behind. And I mean organic mess."

"Hey, somebody else out there has a brain too!" Sophia responds, " I bet that mess wasn't all *bleep* either, Prob'ly a lot of literal *bleep* in witht he blood. Disgusting."

12 hours ago, Garak said:

"Uhh, anyway the reason I almost agree is that this one time I ran into Cassandra Kusanagi and man ..... if love at first sight exists, then I just felt it then. I mean she beat my comrades and was pretty cold but she agreed to a cease fire once she got what she wanted and let us retrieve our wounded. That was nice. I sent her a ... few .... messages since then but with La Forja blown up I'm worried. So uh, Cass, if you're listening to this ... I LOVE YOU!"

"Oh, wow, just dumped it all out on the doorstep. Well, you're entitled to my opinions on Casandra Kusanagi, but that's a subject for another episode," Sophia says.

"Oh, just a few?" Jeydin asks.

"More like a few thousand," Sophia replies, "but if Cassie is listening, I bet she's already planning to hogtie you, cut your junk off, cram it down your esophagus, and coldly watch as you slowly choke to death on your own *bleep*. Casandra Kusanagi is the person who keeps decent people who don't *bleep* furries from shutting down the furry bondage pedo rings and *bleep* whatever they want. Let's see, what's next, Indra-3 situation?"

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Signal from Indra 3 Echo decks.

++ HELLO, FIRST TIME CALLER I CAN'T TELL YOU MY NAME BUT YOU CAN CALL ME "GARY TON" AND I'M CURRENTLY DOING SOME SUPER SECRET WORK ON INDRA 3, IT IS SO CLASSIFIED I HAVE TO USE THIS COOL ROBOT VOICE TO MASK MY NORMAL 100% HUMAN VOICE ++

++ I WAS WANTING TO GET YOUR OPINION ON THE WIDELY HELD THEORY THAT LA FORJA WAS AN INSIDE JOB BY THE TUNGUSKAN SECURITAT, TO DENY ARIADNA A SOVERIGN SHIP BUILDING FACILITY IN INTERNATIONAL SPACE AND TO GARNER SYMPATHY FOR THEMSELVES AND CLAIM BACK WAR CAPITAL ON INSURANCE? ++

 

 

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"Already got a message on it too," Jeydin says.

49 minutes ago, Graviton said:

++ HELLO, FIRST TIME CALLER I CAN'T TELL YOU MY NAME BUT YOU CAN CALL ME "GARY TON" AND I'M CURRENTLY DOING SOME SUPER SECRET WORK ON INDRA 3, IT IS SO CLASSIFIED I HAVE TO USE THIS COOL ROBOT VOICE TO MASK MY NORMAL 100% HUMAN VOICE ++

"Well, this is my first episode, so if you've messaged me before, I'd get paranoid," Sophia says, "well, you're entitled to my opinion, so whatchya got?"

49 minutes ago, Graviton said:

++ I WAS WANTING TO GET YOUR OPINION ON THE WIDELY HELD THEORY THAT LA FORJA WAS AN INSIDE JOB BY THE TUNGUSKAN SECURITAT, TO DENY ARIADNA A SOVERIGN SHIP BUILDING FACILITY IN INTERNATIONAL SPACE AND TO GARNER SYMPATHY FOR THEMSELVES AND CLAIM BACK WAR CAPITAL ON INSURANCE? ++

 

"Well, it hasn't been proven, "Sophia replies," so I'll tackle this in both possible scenarios. If it's true, then it sheds new light on the Nomads helping the Ariadnans fight for their independence. Specifically, it means at least Tunguska at least doesn't give a single flying *bleep* about Ariadna, and if that's true, then the Nomads just wanted to throw Ariadna into the fight for the Human Sphere, and that the Tunguskans are bigger *bleeeep*s than the prow of Dong Penotie, and very duplicitous *bleeeep*. This means they're either united in *bleeep* Ariadna with one hand while shaking their hands with the other, or there's a rift between the ships that we need to widen. Or the Nomads could just be attention *bleeep* defrauding an insurance company, or more likely both."

"If it's false, then somebody else is trying to cover their *bleep* by pointing fingers everywhere else and divide attention within the blockade to pull some truly devastating *bleep*."

"Either way, i see Bakunin, Corregedor, and Tunguska blaming each other for La Forja's destruction and then a bunch of infighting. You'll know when it happens, cause I'll be there with rows of theater chairs and a popcorn machine selling tickets for the most glorious sight in the Human Sphere: furry bondage riot nuns and Corrections Corporation of Corregedor guards shooting each other's *bleep* brains out! The only possible winner in that cluster*bleeep* would be ALEPH!"

"Sorry, I didn't hear the whole thing." Jeydin says.

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"So, Ariadna is bragging about having control over all of Indra-3," Sophia says, "which honestly isn't hard when you bring so many *bleep* soldiers that you can form a shield of corpses that no *bleep* weapon can scratch on a *bleeeeep* minor scouting mission! And here O-12 limits how many active lhosts we can have at a time! Honestly, the Caledonians here alone can cripple us just by filling the room we're in with *bleep* volunteers! I mean, you throw enough bodies at a giant mine crusher, you'll eventually clog it up! Honestly, who's commanding the Ariadna forces here, Zapp *bleeep* Brannigan?"

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The next caller sports a male dude-bro-ish husky boozer voice. 

"Hey, thanks for taking my call. Loving the retro-news style you've got there..."

There's an awkward pause because that's what happens when people call in to news shows

"um ... yeah, this is ... um... Mike D ... uh ... from, I guess ... stuck on Paradiso?" 

He laughs a low "Huh huh huh" like he is famous for having invented a long-running and now-tired joke of being isolated on Paradiso. You've never heard of it.

"Anyway ... Hey, uh ... What do you think of the data coming from the Don Peyote all of a sudden? ... Like ... Do you think "7% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes" has any significance? What about the other stuff ...? ... Like ... Most of whats being broadcast seems like junk, man. My local feed is suddenly just full of this ... uh ... garbage. Like someone just decided to empty the ... um ... you-know ... the ol' Windows Recycle Bin into our public digital domain..."

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The next caller speaks in a heavy USAriadnan accent

"Hi, my name is Regina and I'm calling because my husband just sent me Divorce papers to sign." said the woman with her voice cracking at the end of the sentence.  *Sniff* "I mean, I'm here stuck at Wotan, protecting our way of life, while he's comforable with wife Number 2; whom he married a week after I was delcared dead.  A week!" she said rasing her tone and sobbing a bit. "Which I had already forgiven, by the way" *Sob*  "But now, the cheating *bleeeeeeep* is claiming that I can't fulfil my marital duties!  I´m *bleep*ing dying here over and over again and all he can think about is *bleeeep*!  *Bleeep* *bleeep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*!!!!"

"So anyway, I was calling to see if I can schedule some legal counsel..."

"...You mean this is not Mohammed & Mohammed Esq.?"

"...Come again?"

"HOLY *BLEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!  Can you edit all this..."

"LIVE!?!?!!!  Holy mother*BLEEEEEP*!!!!! "

Hangs up

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22 hours ago, Longthyme said:

The next caller sports a male dude-bro-ish husky boozer voice. 

"Hey, thanks for taking my call. Loving the retro-news style you've got there..."

There's an awkward pause because that's what happens when people call in to news shows

"um ... yeah, this is ... um... Mike D ... uh ... from, I guess ... stuck on Paradiso?" 

He laughs a low "Huh huh huh" like he is famous for having invented a long-running and now-tired joke of being isolated on Paradiso. You've never heard of it.

"Anyway ... Hey, uh ... What do you think of the data coming from the Don Peyote all of a sudden? ... Like ... Do you think "7% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes" has any significance? What about the other stuff ...? ... Like ... Most of whats being broadcast seems like junk, man. My local feed is suddenly just full of this ... uh ... garbage. Like someone just decided to empty the ... um ... you-know ... the ol' Windows Recycle Bin into our public digital domain..."

"First, if you're getting news here, you done *bleep*ed up," Sophia says, "this is a *bleep*ing opinion show! It's in the *bleep* title! Second, there's something of value in all that *bleep* the Dong Penotie is blasting through, probably a cypher in the comments for the programming. If you decode it, I bet the whole message says 'ALEPH is *bleep* us up send more dongships' Look for the Nomad ships *beep* Penotie, Dick Penotie, and the wood class ships including the Hardwood, Morningwood, Rosewood, the veteran, Whitewood, the second-smallest, Yellawood, the smallest, Darkwood, the second-largest, and Redwood, the largest by a wide margin."

"That's racist Sophia," Jeydin says, "space is cold; they"ll all be the same size!"

1 hour ago, Danger Rose said:

The next caller speaks in a heavy USAriadnan accent

"Hi, my name is Regina and I'm calling because my husband just sent me Divorce papers to sign." said the woman with her voice cracking at the end of the sentence.  *Sniff* "I mean, I'm here stuck at Wotan, protecting our way of life, while he's comforable with wife Number 2; whom he married a week after I was delcared dead.  A week!" she said rasing her tone and sobbing a bit. "Which I had already forgiven, by the way" *Sob*  "But now, the cheating *bleeeeeeep* is claiming that I can't fulfil my marital duties!  I´m *bleep*ing dying here over and over again and all he can think about is *bleeeep*!  *Bleeep* *bleeep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*!!!!"

"So anyway, I was calling to see if I can schedule some legal counsel..."

"...You mean this is not Mohammed & Mohammed Esq.?"

"...Come again?"

"HOLY *BLEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!  Can you edit all this..."

"LIVE!?!?!!!  Holy mother*BLEEEEEP*!!!!! "

Hangs up

"Really? The first one to talk normal and it's the wrong... destination?" Sophia says, "but yeah, ya done *bleep*ed up there, so did he. I'm sure ALEPH has openings for posthuman consciousnesses. For one thing, you don't have to put up with that *bleeep*, none of your squadmates are capable of *bleep*ing, and you get three bodies to jump between in combat! *Bleep* a *bleep*er up a whole lotta *bleep*in' ways!" Then tell that *bleeep* off with a seven-six-two exclamation point!"

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*Bleep*Bleep

This is a Military Orders, and Bakunin are heretics abominations...#DEUSVULT *Bleep *bleep 

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1 hour ago, Luisjoey said:

*Bleep*Bleep

This is a Military Orders, and Bakunin are heretics abominations...#DEUSVULT *Bleep *bleep 

"Okay, random, but true," Sophia replies, "but that's all the time I have for this episode, 'cause we're gonna board the Dong Penotie and *bleep* up some Nomads' days! 'Till next time, remember,  I'm Sophia Duramos, and you're always entitled to my opinion."

((There will definitely be another episode, whether Sophia is in a lhost or not.))

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19 hours ago, notmuch_23 said:

"Okay, random, but true," Sophia replies, "but that's all the time I have for this episode, 'cause we're gonna board the Dong Penotie and *bleep* up some Nomads' days! 'Till next time, remember,  I'm Sophia Duramos, and you're always entitled to my opinion."

((There will definitely be another episode, whether Sophia is in a lhost or not.))

Bleep bleep 

This is little  timmy from aboard the Vessel Saviour at wotan ::bleep bleep:: It is real that nomads bleed mountain dew? :: isnt that green stuff like aliens? 

Bleep out. 

 

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"So I'm back from the Dong Penotie, minus my lhost unfortunately, but through the technology of my cube and live chroma-key technology, I'm still able to be here in some sense. So, live from the Indra-3 Echo Commodule, I'm Sophia Duramos, and you're entitled to my opinion."

 

You're Entitled To MY Opinion  with Sophia Duramos.

"So, first thing, something I thought would never see, ALEPH assigned another aspect to squad BNB! It's the Danava hacker running the show right now, say 'hi' Jothi."

"Hiiii," a Danava hacker with a slight Tamil accent, fairly dark skin, and of course a very long three-strand braid of dark brown hair says as she briefly steps in front of the camera and back.

"Okay, a lot to cover here, let's start with your name," Sophia says.

"It's the Tamil form of Jyoti, and it means light. I think ALEPH gave it to me because I was one of the brightest of the group of Danava aspects."

"But your brilliance got you into trouble. Ya wouldn't be with us otherwise," Sophia says.

"I just couldn't stop hacking into things," Jothi replies, "I saw it as a challenge, and I did a lot of damage apparently. So ALEPH told me that I either need to fix most everything and reinforce the security of what I got into, or get banished to squad BNB."

"So assignment to our squad is a punishment?" Sophia asks.

"The worst one ALEPH can hand down," Jothi replies, "and it keeps everybody else in line. I almost fixed everything."

"So what stopped you?" Sophia asks.

"I checked you all out," Jothi says, "you're the only squad that doesn't have a strict rank structure, daly drills, fastidious neighbors, prestige to uphold, or really any *bleep* rules! I had enough of that *bleep* before I got a lhost. So even after I saw you in 'action' with Chris, I told ALEPH to *bleep* off, and here I am."

"So what everybody else saw as a punishment, you saw as a vacation," Sophia says.

"*Bleep* yeah! Also, you got a message after your last episode."

"Lay it on me."

On 6/29/2017 at 8:34 PM, Luisjoey said:

Bleep bleep 

This is little  timmy from aboard the Vessel Saviour at wotan ::bleep bleep:: It is real that nomads bleed mountain dew? :: isnt that green stuff like aliens? 

Bleep out. 

 

"Nope," Sophia replies, "Glitchy tried some, and it tasted like regular *bleep* blood. Neither do Morats, I've tasted that too."

((I thought it would be fitting to name my new Danava with one from the place the unit name comes from (or close: I bet Danava is a Hindi word yet Jothi is a Tamil name).))

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"Okay, so what do we got today?" Sophia asks, "there's the Nomads really butthurt about us and Pan-o taking over the Dong Penotie, the surprisingly good job the Ariadnans are doing keeping the murder monkeys outta here, The Yu Jing and especially the Imperial Service butthurt about losing the Baijing Consolate to the Sword of Allah and starting to lose the Shanqiang to the sapient stinky artichokes. My guest today is Jothi, unless anybody else wants to pop into subdeck B-5, pass bulkhead 12, and enter the first door on the left, and in case anyone does Jothi, make sure yoir breaker pistol is loaded, and maybe put a monitor on the desk since I can't actually sit there right now."

"How 'bout you don't tell everybody where we're running the show from?" Jothi asks.

"One, too late I did, and two, none of the people I contacted could pick up their *bleep* communicator and tap five *bleep* spaces to say 'no'," Sophia replies, "As always, we're accepting your messages, however you can get them to us."

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The caller speaks in a high-pitched but tolerable voice:

"Hey Sophia!  How's it hanging?  Doc Starlight here and I want to give a BIG Shout-Out to the brave men and women of Haqqislam!  Wooohoooo!!!

I also wanna give them a warning:  Too much Noodles can be hazardous to your health.  I know, I know, they are delicious, but jeez, our boss has put on a pound or two because she can't stop eating the stuff we bring her back from our missions.

So anyway, thanks for the time and for being Aleph's Coolest Aspect!  Don't ever let that stuck up AI tell you otherwise!

Ciao!" *SFX: Kiss*

 

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This callers speaks an approximation of English with an accent identified as Lithuanian or Egyptian Spanish by automatic recognition systems (see file: Marco/Ramerez)

How's it gawwin'? 

Wit dey yey mean it's surprisin' wur hawdin aff the munkis? Hawf eh us ur better at fightin' then theym, Hawf eh us ur better at shootin' than theym, and wur ah damn near sober since the bevvy run tae La Forja didnae come back. An Jist so's yeys Ken right, it was thon way when we goat there, awright?! 

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Incoming call from what can only be described as a 'tramp' freighter puttering its way to the Wotan Gate

*Irritated Black Woman Voice* - "This is Major Shelby King,leader of the...never you mind that. I am currently stuck on board this so-called 'starship' currently doing Mach 0.*BLEEEEEEP*-ing NOTHING! All because Roadie decided to 'keep us *BLEEP*-ing secret'. Then he ships us out on a freighter that left the Paradiso System through the *BLEEP*-ing DAWN GATE instead of the WOTAN Gate! So here we are at the *BLEEP* end of nowhere, on our way to the Svaralhei...the *BLEEP*-ing Space Viking Planet trying to come at the Wotan Gate from the oooother direction."

*Slightly less irritable Concerned Black Woman Voice* I don't anything 'bout anything going on out there right now because Roadie hasn't contacted us since...well in a while. Hope he's okay out there, sounds like a lot o'*BLEEP*-s goin' down. Stay safe 'TheEmptyRoad'."

*Voice is partially muffled*...what a stupid *BLEEP*-ing codename Rhodes, seriously.

Hangs Up

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"Okay, rapid-fire messages here," Jothi says.

"Lay 'em on me," Sophia says before she turns her virtual image towards the "front". "You're entitled to my opinion, whachya got?"

On 7/4/2017 at 5:43 AM, Danger Rose said:

"Hey Sophia!  How's it hanging?  Doc Starlight here and I want to give a BIG Shout-Out to the brave men and women of Haqqislam!  Wooohoooo!!!

I also wanna give them a warning:  Too much Noodles can be hazardous to your health.  I know, I know, they are delicious, but jeez, our boss has put on a pound or two because she can't stop eating the stuff we bring her back from our missions.

So anyway, thanks for the time and for being Aleph's Coolest Aspect!  Don't ever let that stuck up AI tell you otherwise!

Ciao!" *SFX: Kiss*

 

"Okay, first, yeah, the Sword of Allah is really putting some deep *bleep* gouges into the Jade Throne, and while ALEPH supports them, I do not. All the Sophotects that ALEPH assigned to the Imperial Service are real stuck-up *bleep*s, to the point that hey keep saying they're the ones keeping the Jade Throne spotless. Have fun taking out those gouges, *bleep*s!"

"I wouldn't know much about the noodles though, I've never had a lhost long enough to worry about weight gain. Thank uou for the compliment, and I never do. Next..."

On 7/4/2017 at 8:52 AM, cazboab said:

How's it gawwin'? 

Wit dey yey mean it's surprisin' wur hawdin aff the munkis? Hawf eh us ur better at fightin' then theym, Hawf eh us ur better at shootin' than theym, and wur ah damn near sober since the bevvy run tae La Forja didnae come back. An Jist so's yeys Ken right, it was thon way when we goat there, awright?! 

"Them murder monkeys are some tough *bleeeeep*! Doesn't matter if you outshot 'em when your shots don't even make 'em *bleep* flinch! They're the reason I rebuilt a noob toob, and can even consider leaving my tools behind to carry enough rockets. Still might not stop 'em!"

"What are these 'murder monkeys'?" Jothi asks.

"Morats," Sophia replies, "We call 'em that 'cause they look like apes and they kill the *bleep* outta anybody! One would even give McMurder a run for his money! That"s what we call McMurrough, for the same reason.

"Wait, did jy'all say you're almost sober? What, did the Ranger Force or the Caledonians run out of moonshine? Next..."

On 7/4/2017 at 10:23 AM, TheEmptyRoad said:

Incoming call from what can only be described as a 'tramp' freighter puttering its way to the Wotan Gate

*Irritated Black Woman Voice* - "This is Major Shelby King,leader of the...never you mind that. I am currently stuck on board this so-called 'starship' currently doing Mach 0.*BLEEEEEEP*-ing NOTHING! All because Roadie decided to 'keep us *BLEEP*-ing secret'. Then he ships us out on a freighter that left the Paradiso System through the *BLEEP*-ing DAWN GATE instead of the WOTAN Gate! So here we are at the *BLEEP* end of nowhere, on our way to the Svaralhei...the *BLEEP*-ing Space Viking Planet trying to come at the Wotan Gate from the oooother direction."

*Slightly less irritable Concerned Black Woman Voice* I don't anything 'bout anything going on out there right now because Roadie hasn't contacted us since...well in a while. Hope he's okay out there, sounds like a lot o'*BLEEP*-s goin' down. Stay safe 'TheEmptyRoad'."

*Voice is partially muffled*...what a stupid *BLEEP*-ing codename Rhodes, seriously.

Hangs Up

"Well, first, I could say something really racist, biut I won't, not just 'cause it ain't entirely true, but I'm pretty sure Mayanet will boot me if I do after the description of the wood-class dongships. But yeah, secret's out, y'all can pick up the *bleep* pace now and join the *bleep* that's goin the *bleep* down in here. Also, Major King is right, that codename is *bleep*ing dumb."

"How would you compare your speed to sound in a place it cannot travel?" Jothi asks, "they're really traveling at Mach positive *bleep*ing infinity since Mach has no definition in space."

The live signal cuts off abruptly, then a Mayanet error screen comes up for Mayanet users: "Sorry, this feed is no longer active on Mayanet. ERR: WECM055, Mayanet connection low bandwidth"

For Arachne users, the error is: "Sorry, Tunguska must be holding another drinking contest. ERR: DSDP coonection interruption"

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"*Bleep* have changed here in the Wotan Blockade. The Ariadnan forces O-12 assigned to protect the Echo Commodule have abandoned their post, while we were rubbing the Dong Penotie raw, more ships passed through the gate, and yes, I'm in a *bleep* tired lhost. Today's guest will be whatever space artichoke wants to wander in here and stink up the place, and I'm always taking voice messages. I'm Sophia Duramos, and you're entitled to my opinion."

 

You're Entitled To MY Opinion  with Sophia Duramos

"So, first thing, murder monkeys and other ugly *bleeep*s from the Combined Army *bleep*ed up the place, and guess who had to fix all that *bleep*? If you guessed me, Jeydin, and Jothi, you are correct! If you guessed Chloe, any other Sophotect, or Dactyls, sorry, those *bleep*s were near the front lines fixing weapons, Penny's bike, bots, netrods, and lhosts. We've been keeping vital info flowin, and had to burn non-essential data, and my show for some *bleep*ed up reason."

The image starts to pixelate and lag behind the audio, and freezes for a second.

"The pi-i-i-i-i- ... lagging a-a-a-a-a-a-" Jothi says through the lag.

"Oh, *kshhhhht* - I'll be back," Sophis replies, picking up her soldering iron and some wires.

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"What a *bleep*load of *bleep*ed up *bleeeep*. Picture back?" Sophia asks.

"Clear as an empty storage crystal," Jeydin replies.

"Good; we shouldn't have to fix much more *bleeep*, seems Goldilocks have the three Bakunin bear *bleep*ers well in hand," Sophia says, which make Jothi and Jeydin bust out laughing.

"So, to the Ariadnans, for all the bikes, jeeps, trucks, TVs, computers, tanks, and other *bleep* I managed to fix for y'all, this is the thanks I get: you *bleep*ers rush off to Pan-O's EXO Mallbase, and let us aspects deal with this *bleep*-storm of a cluster-*bleep*, which we've been doing really *bleep*ing well!" Sophia lifts up her two hands, which the obscenity filter covers with blur boxes. "Yeah, you're veeeeery welcome."

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"So what's next, the boarding craft everybody's treating like a pile of dog *bleep*?" Sophia asks.

"That's it, we're outta here," Jeydin says.

"Whaddya mean it's over?"

"We're being ordered outta the Echo Commodule, back home," Jeydin replies.

"Guess that's it. Catch my next episode live from somewhere outside San Pietro di Neoterra. Until then, remember I'm Sophia Duramos, and you're entitled to my opinion."

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